Dressing Up for The Dodo

Well, we really didn't do much for Halloween this year. We ended up taking my nephew around for trick or treating and then we decided to get dressed up to go eat at the Dodo (of course we were downtown so the fact that we were dressed up didn't really make us look out of place). It was a lot of fun, I forgot how much fun it is to put on a little extra make-up and not be judged for it (or arrested for a mis-understanding j/k). The craziest part of the night was; ever since Paul and I got married he has said "I wish you wouldn't rat your hair up so high" and "I really hate it when you wear dark lipstick" - of course still do those things on occasion because he clearly hasn't listened to me when I've said stuff like "I wish you didn't think the side of our bed was a hamper" and "I wish you didn't assume that shoving things under the bed makes them invisible". Anyway, when I was getting dressed up I decided to not rat my hair and for-go my lipstick. I walked out expecting a whistle from Paul or at least an eyebrow raise but instead I got a "Why didn't you rat your hair up?". So, I went and ratted my hair and then came out again and he said "Aren't you going to wear lipstick?". Seriously... and they say women are confusing!

Preserving Your Dignity and Providing Some Viewing Pleasure...

Paul will try to pass off that I'm the one that loves the holidays at our house but it's just not true. He and his scouts went out for Trick or Treating for food the other night and he insisted that he had to dress up (even though, his boys all seemed to be dressed up like teenagers... which lets be honest can sometimes be the scariest thing possible). I suggested that he wear an over sized dress from DI and I could do his makeup and he could go as a girl but he said "there is no way I will ever go as a girl, I have WAY too much pride for that. Looking at these pictures I totally see what he means. These pictures are the complete representation of nothing but pride... and... you know free love, hallucinogen's, Helen Reddy and Charles Manson theology. So, good job Paul, you are right, this is much less embarrassing and definately something to be more proud of then just going as a women :) The hippies have done way more for history and man kind then women have ever done j/k Paul... you never stop amazing me and that's why I love you :)

Headed For A Second Arrest?

I know the title of this Blog will automatically bring the question, when was the first arrest? Well my friends, that story will have to wait for another day because quite honestly... I can't talk about it without getting upset and using expletives. Yes it's been almost 4 years but it seems like yesterday for me.
So, as many of you know I work at a law firm down town. I've worked here for over two years now. It was a tough adjustment at first getting use to the hustle and bustle of downtown; especially the constant construction and the mind-games of the construction workers when they randomly close lanes and sidewalks just to mess with your head and your commute. It makes for great fun.
One of the hardest things for me to get use to was the pedestrians. Now, I try not to be a hypocrite so when I'm walking from the parking garage to my work, I even hate myself - well not really but I try to hold myself to the highest of pedestrian standards. For example, I have to cross two separate streets to get to my building. I work almost at the corner of Main and 100 South so I have to cross the road twice. Also, Tracks lets off right in front of my building so that adds an additional element of torture for me to include in my trip. However, because I want to be a responsible pedestrian I ALWAYS wait for the green walking-man to be showing on the street corner light before I walk. Even though there are days where, several times people will walk right past me as I stand there still, alone in my principles, waiting for the green-man to appear so I can cross. I do this so that perhaps I can feel a little better about my sheer hatred for pedestrians once I get behind the wheel of my own vehicle. That is all the background you need for this story. So here it goes:

First I ask you to keep in mind that the time was 8:00 a.m. so this means that I hadn't even been awake for an hour yet, I did not have my wits about me and I do not rise triumphant from this story. However, I am definitely not the stupidest part of this story that is for sure!
This morning at a few minutes to 8:00 a.m., I parked my car in the parking garage a block and a half from my building and began my journey to work. I was slightly rushed since I was worried I would be a few minutes late by the time I crossed the two roads and made it up the sidewalk without my high heel getting caught in the grout type stuff in between the different types of material that make up the downtown sidewalks. I made it to my first crossing, from the SE corner of 100 South headed North to then cross West across 100 South to get to my building. Luckily, the green man was there, waiting for me. I crossed and stood at the corner of the intersection for almost a minute waiting for the green man to switch locations but this wasn't happening... not even close. There wasn't even the red-hand with the count down to assure me that the time was at hand. I had nothing. The streets were dead, tracks wasn't even within hearing distance (and if you've been downtown you know that's hard to do) and I decided to do what I see hundreds of people do everyday, look both ways, and cross the crosswalk without the green man's help. I made it across without anything but the wind coming while I did it. However, once across there was a man, who I can only hope was a Salt Lake Police Officer who said "excuse me Ms, would you come here please?". So, I walked over and said "yes" and he said "are you aware that you just ran a red light", I think he could tell by the look on my face that I was slightly confused (understandably so) by his phrasing so he said "You just walked across the street when the light was red" - I wanted to say "well if you walk across the street when the light is green you have to dodge cars" but I decided to ignore his inability to explain himself correctly and I said with my early morning honesty "yeah, I guess" and he said (in his most sever old-time cop show voice) "let me see your license!" so, I got out my wallet and before I could make another move he said "remove it from the case!" So I did and he said "so were you UNAWARE that it is illegal to cross the street when the light is red?" (again his phrasing opened him up for all kinds of sarcastic comments) and I said "I was on the crosswalk and honestly, I've never seen anyone else care" and he said "well if "everyone else" jumped off a cliff would you?" and I said (finally waking up and realizing I might get a ticket anyway) "I guess it would depend... are they all worried about being late to work as well?". Then he said "Oh, I see so you DID know it was wrong and now we see the real reason, because you were going to be late for work?" and I said "yeah, I guess that would be the REAL reason". With that he threw my license back at me and said "don't ever do this again". I wanted to say "What? Talk to you... believe me I wont" but I just walked off, knowing now full well that he never intended on giving me a ticket. Clearly, he felt it was his duty to quote "Make an example out of me" for all the security guards and bystanders watching. And what an excellent job he did. I mean, it's an important issue, keeping the streets clear of "Mad cross-walking people" (yes, that's sarcasm). What I took away from it is, never try and use common sense when crossing the street in downtown Salt Lake, because it's more important to wait for the pretty lights to be the correct color (yes, more sarcasm).
Don't think the irony of the fact that I spend countless mornings, afternoons and evenings making a point of not crossing at the wrong time just to "almost" be issued a jay-walking ticket on the one morning I didn't. Perhaps this is a new sort of stimulus plan by the down town police. To make money from actually enforcing jaywalking laws. It could be a good idea. However, in over two years, I seem to be the ONLY one to have ever had the pleasure of being threatened with such a harsh punishment for my in-subordination.
In case any of you are wondering, when I left for lunch I stood at the crosswalk (all four times) and had people push to get pass me so that they could cross the street when the lights weren't indicating that they could do so. And I, all alone, crossed with the green man. I think the true tragedy is not in the enforcement of the law but the fact that the only law that seems to always been consistent, at least in my life, is Murphy's :)

Killers...

Back in the spring I received a notice from Ticket Master that The Killers were coming to the E-Center. I knew right away what needed to be done. Tickets had to be bought for myself and my friend Marissa. We had to be at this concert, if for no other reason to gain an answer to the eternally perplexing question "Are we Human? Or Are we Dancers?".
Now the concert wasn't until September 26th so we had plenty of months to plan for it and make sure that nothing conflicted with this date. Which is why the only explanation for my Mom calling me on the 23rd is Murphy's Law. My Mom calls me and says "Hey so this Saturday is the Women's General Conference and I thought it would be so great if all of us got together and went to dinner and then headed over to the conference" and I was like (GULP) "Mom, that sounds like so much fun but I've had these tickets ever since around March for this Saturday" - The obvious question follows "What tickets?". "Well Mom it's to a concert", "Oh, who?" "Well, it's a band called The Killers"…. There was silence for a minute on the phone so I said "Mom, it's not like it sounds, their CD's aren't parental discretion advisory or anything like that, they are totally legit. I'll let you hear some of their songs. The lead singer, is from Utah and he's Mormon". "That's okay Janet, ever since you told me about that Naked Ladies band you and Paul like I can't say I'm surprised. We'll miss you though on Saturday" - She was of course jovial and stuff about it but it was pretty rough for a minute!
For the record the "Naked Ladies" band my Mom is referring to is 'BNL' and it's PAUL that likes them, not me. So, the Friday before the concert I noticed an article in the Salt Lake Tribune about how devout Brandon Flowers (the lead singer of the Killers) is in his LDS faith so I of course called my Mom to tell her about it. Her response was classic. She said, "Well then what is Brother Flowers opinion on whether the women of the church should be listen to it's leaders or his music?". Coincidentally, I had to get off the phone after that :)
Anyway, the concert rocked. The pictures tell the story of the night. First Marissa and I spent hours getting ready. Then we got there and waited forever in anticipation. We heard the opening band which was really pretty good and our momentum continued to build. Then... there was a second opening band. A mariachi band which made me wish I was dead. The lead singer of the band actually tried to start a fight with someone in the audience. He was real tough with that microphone in his hand and his tight tiny black jacket. Anyway, after that band we had to go spend $4.00 to get an energy drink so we were awake for the main event.
Finally the killers came on and after a short technical difficulty they came out to rock our world. It was a great show, I can't even explain how awesome their final number was. Sadly I have to admit that I would much rather have been at my heathen event then the Women's Conference :( Sorry Mom.

The Favorite Aunt?

My side of the family has 2 nieces and 2 nephews and we love them all dearly. Allison is the oldest at 8. Then comes Olivia at 6. Kyle falls next in line at 5 and then there is Remington who just turned 3. Shelley and Jennifer (the mothers) live within about a mile and a half from each other and have play dates with their kids often so, it’s little surprise that when Shelley shows up the kids all scream and yell and run to her. When I show up the kids are more like “Oh yeah, that’s our “other” aunt, Janet” (okay, it’s not quite that bad but it’s definitely a noticeable difference). I have often tried to secure a spot with one of them as the favorite aunt but fall short often because of distance and my apparent lack of ability to make up crazy games to play with them, as Shelley is always able to do. Plus I can’t win over Shelley’s son Kyle because I’m not Allison & Olivia’s Mom – or whatever :) I’ve already lost my chances with Olivia and Allison long ago and I have sadly accepted this. However, Remington is still so young that I knew I could have a shot at a possible “favorite” title. From the beginning though, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I made my intentions clear thus spurring Shelley into giving Remington additional attention and brainwashing against me. I even had him over for a sleepover a couple weekends ago and Shelley responded by treating him to one this weekend. However, I feel confident about our recent trip to the fair on Friday night.

Poor little Remington wasn’t able to ride all the rides that the taller kids were (looking at how tall his Dad is, I don’t think it’s something he’ll struggle with for long) so I was MORE then happy to ride on the kids’ rides with him. I’ve got to say, the kids got guts, the look on his face during some of the rides I was sure was going to mean he wouldn’t be to happy when the ride stopped but, his response was always the same, “let’s do it again”. We even went on one that you stood against the wall and spun around and the force of the ride pushed you against the wall. Plus the walls slide up so you could turn sideways or upside down if you wanted. I just grabbed little Remi’s arms and held on for dear life. In the midst of the ride Shelley yelled to me “How is he doing?” and I yelled back, “I don’t know. I can’t turn my head to see his face”. When we got to the train ride all the kids and me were the first on. Although the train was empty the kids thought we should all squeeze into the caboose. Olivia later referred to it as the Caboob :) It was so much fun. After the rides my Mom treated everyone to Dippin’ Dots and we sat on the grass and ate them. At one point Remington scooted close to me, put his hand on my leg and said “Hi, I’m Remington”. I felt like a teenager again… It’s been a long time since I’ve been hit on like that.

At the end of the night, Remington was walking a little like a drunken person holding his sprite in one hand and trying to walk straight. He was so dizzy and tired but always kept the smile on his face. I don’t know where I stand but I can definitely say I feel a little closer to the title :)